sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
