There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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