I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
