Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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