You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Randomize
