there's paper in my vomit.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
