considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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