Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.