Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
