I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
