just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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