You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
