i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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