Who did Billy Mays play for?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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