I heard we made out
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
