You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
