Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
