Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
