They should really pass out barf bags in church
you would pick up someone in the library
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
