Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
It's official drugs can't kill me
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I am available for nakedness
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
