No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
