I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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