Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
