Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
