you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
