There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
