I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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