youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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