they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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