oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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