"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
