Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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