Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
