am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
