ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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