Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Randomize
