How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
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And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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