"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
