I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Randomize
