one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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