I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Randomize
