absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
It was confusing and full of hummus
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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