I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
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