You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
