Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Randomize
