is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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