they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
