im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
