If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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