When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
You were trust falling into bushes
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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