I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize