I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Randomize
