i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
