he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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